Saturday, May 13, 2006
Been a quiet morning, and a tiring one.
As I sat infront of my computer at my work place, I could not help nodding off. I had came in at 6am this morning for work. It was not that bad to work up early for work, except I came in 5am yesterday, slept at 1.30am this morning, and to make matters worse, I still have 12.5 hours to go before I can knock off work. Maybe 13 hours, but I do not tink that differs much.
(Right now the song on radio is "ni shi wo zui shen ai de nu ren"... Really love this song as it reminds me of a girl in my secondary school, a girl I have never had a chance to speak with, and a girl I think I will remeber for a very long time...)
Recently I found myself had been working hard, at least harder then before. I guess it was because of those goals that I had set for myself, just before the beginning of May. I was not really sure of the reason(s) behind this. Is it because I want to find out how far I could reach if I put in effort? Or is it that I am finally determined to shrug off of the live I have been leading so far? Either way, I think it is positive, only that there is a big big problem: I will have to change myself.
I do not mean a makeover of myself or what, but rather my views and perhaps my perception of life. I believe in a perfect world, where lifes were neither ruled nor determined by money. Man lives because of their instinct to live, to survive, with the odjectives of finding happiness in the process. That was where the only hierachy exists was the food hierachy of nature. People helps one another because they simply want to, and they saw no one as an enemy. But what I am doing now, to try, and "live" in this current world, is the fueling of the destruction of "perfect world". *sign* Perhaps it is just too naive to believe in that, and I am saving myself by dealing with the damages blown by reality.
Ya.
It is the reality which we live in, not the dream.
it is just sooner or later
9:17 AM
